April 30, 2008

  • Oh, The Irony Of It All...

    Last night while I was lying in bed, crying myself to sleep over Casey's situation, it dawned on me, the irony of my life. You see, for several years my struggle was something that I never gave too much thought to, because I just viewed it as a small something that I liked checking out. In other words, it wasn't something that I thought was "a part of me".

    I knew that when I came to xangaland that I was searching for comfort and help, but, and here's where the irony begins...I discovered when I arrived here that I have met people that have become such dear friends to me, people that I can't imagine life without knowing, people that I have come to love dearly. It's all ironic in that had I never had to deal with this struggle in my life, I would have never met you all. It's ironic in that I wish I never had to deal with SSA, but if I hadn't had to, I would have never known any of you.

    It's ironic that last year, July 2nd, was one of the best days of my life, because it was on that day that I met for the first time, a certain three people, and those three people were EXACTLY how I imagined them to be, and I instantly loved them dearly. It was also on that day, as I walked with them through the historic battlefields of Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, that I realized that my struggle and involvement in SSA was real, because if it wasn't, I would not have been there. That really hit me hard, though I didn't let it show to Daniel, Jonathan and Marti.  I couldn't, because it was one of my greatest days ever.

    If it wasn't a reality in my life, I wouldn't be considering going to Chicago this summer to visit Dumont, should he move from Texas. He too has become a wonderful friend to me. I miss him terribly here in xangaland.

    Part of me really longs to return to PA and see my friends there again, but with gas being so high, I'll be lucky to make it to the state line this year.

    Oh, another ironic thing about last year, while I was staying in Chambersburg, I felt such a wonderful feeling of peace there, in that it felt like a safe place from SSA, at least for me. I visited a lovely little church while there, and well, I just had a great time there.

    Again, if it weren't for my facing the reality of SSA, I wouldn't have ever made it there.

    Isn't it something how God can take something that was so bad and turn it around into something so amazingly beautiful and wonderful???

    Ironic? Perhaps, but thankfully, the good has far outweighed the bad, and for that I praise God!!!

    I love you all so much!!!

    Your Friend,
    -Richard. :)